Do you often feel unworthy or inferior to others? You might rarely prioritize your wants or needs. Or you are likely always the one saying, “I’m sorry”—even when you are not entirely sure why.
You might be lacking self-respect.
In this article, we will dive into:
- What is self-respect
- How self-respect impacts your life
- Signs of low self-respect
- Reasons for low self-respect
- How to respect yourself more
Start right here and right now down a path toward a better life. What are you missing when it comes to self-respect, and how can you gain more of it?
What Is Self-Respect?
Self-respect is having confidence in yourself and your abilities, while also feeling that you are acting with honor and dignity.
You might be wondering, what is the difference between self-respect and self-esteem? Aren’t these terms the same?
Self-respect and self-esteem are very similar but also two different concepts.
Self-esteem is an evaluation of your own worth and appearing confident in everyday situations. It does not help when you doubt yourself, but self-respect does.
Self-respect gives you confidence in yourself, which can cast self-doubt aside.
How Does Self-Respect Influence Your Life?
Your level of self-respect seeps into various aspects of your life, including your relationships, work, and lifestyle choices. Whether or not you respect yourself will determine who you become and what you do. It will also contribute to your overall happiness and fulfillment.
When you don’t respect yourself, you will experience less happiness. Yet, when you do, opportunities open to you, and you experience a higher state of happiness and well-being. Below, we dive into how self-respect influences your life in greater detail.
While you should respect your partner or friend in any relationship, it is equally important to respect yourself. Similarly to communication and trust, respect is the foundation of any relationship.
When you have a high level of self-respect, where you accept yourself and have confidence in what you bring to the table, others will also respect you more. This creates a healthier relationship. For example, with more self-respect, you are able to set boundaries and stick to them. Moreover, you know your worth and are not willing to settle.
A high amount of self-respect allows your relationships to flourish. It creates healthy and robust relationships that last a lifetime and contribute to your overall happiness. For this to happen, you must respect yourself enough to ensure you only have positive influences in your life.
It is completely okay to let go of people who are not serving you or bringing you down. By instilling confidence in your strengths and weaknesses and building your self-respect, you will be able to walk away from situations or people that are toxic to your life.
An individual with low self-respect, however, may end up in a relationship where the other person treats them as inferior. They allow that person to walk all over them because they do not respect themselves.
Without self-respect, you may lose who you are and what you stand for in a relationship. Moreover, you may give up your ability to make decisions, which can result in a loss of control in your life.
If you look around at the successful people in your life, you will notice how they set clear boundaries and how they prioritize. They likely go after their goals and aren’t overly quick to respond to other demands. They know what they want, and they respect themselves enough to go for it.
Ideally, you want to respect yourself enough to push through the fear or doubt and go after that job, business, or position you have been dreaming about. You do not want to waste your life away in a position or job role that you dislike.
Therefore, gaining more self-respect allows you to do just that. It gives you the confidence to go after what you want. As a result, this brings more happiness and fulfillment into your life as well.
In lifestyle choices
Self-respect gives way to a healthy body and a healthy mind.
You end up having enough self-respect to avoid overworking and burnout. Similarly, you are achieving your goals for yourself—not for others.
With self-respect, you are able to set boundaries. You are able to say “No” to not only external factors and people but also to your own unhealthy habits.
When you respect yourself, you look after yourself through the lifestyle choices you make. For instance, self-respect can offer motivation to exercise or eat well. You know it will make you feel good and that it optimizes you, so you continue with these healthy habits.
This translates into building the life you want. When you feel good, you are more equipped to go after that job you have been wanting or settle into a healthy and robust relationship.
A lack of self-respect may lead to you over-indulging or skipping out on the gym. You certainly don’t respect your health or body enough to give it what it needs. You might also give too much of your time to others or fall into an unhealthy relationship. This can lead to a low quality of life, among other issues.
Signs of Low Self-Respect
How do you know if you have low self-respect or not? Use the following low self-respect signs to determine if you need to learn how to respect yourself more.
1. You rarely speak up or voice your own wants and needs
You know you want or need something, but you never voice it. Frequently, instead, you go along with what other people want or need. In other words, you may ‘give in’ more than you ‘take’ or stand your ground.
2. You feel guilty a lot of the time and say “I’m sorry” often
You apologize for situations you may have no control or responsibility in. Further, you may feel guilty for something as simple as taking up space in a room.
3. You follow what others are doing, wearing, or saying
If a friend or partner says something is worth wearing or trending, you wear it. If your friends are drinking and you do not want to, you still drink. You have a tendency to do or say as others do, as opposed to forming your own opinions or identity.
4. You don’t feel deserving
You feel you don’t deserve higher pay or a better job. As a result, you avoid the job you want or cause you to end up in a toxic relationship.
5. You have trouble making decisions
You rarely make your own decisions. Instead, you let others decide for you. If you do make your own decision, you also may have trouble sticking or standing by them.
6. You don’t set boundaries
You don’t know when to say “No”. A lack of boundaries causes vulnerability and opens you up to hurt. Consequently, this often leads to others walking all over you.
7. You do a lot for other people
Because you long to feel needed or wanted, so you give things to others or do things for them even when you are not enjoying it.
You have a need to feel loved, accepted, and appreciated because you struggle to respect yourself. Consequently, sometimes this may even arise in the form of sexual promiscuity or serial dating.
8. You partake in negative self-talk
Your critical internal dialogue tells you that you are not enough or worthy. In addition, you believe people will not accept you for who you are.
Reasons Why You Have Low Self-Respect
Many parts of your life mold your level of self-respect. In short, your genes, your life experiences, and the world around you may impact the amount of self-respect you have for yourself.
Experts state that chemicals rooted in your brain at birth may impact your level of confidence, happiness, and whether or not you respect yourself.
They further elaborate that as we grow, it is our life experiences that may alter or change this predetermined genetic makeup.
If you have experienced bullying or harassment, these situations often demonstrate that another person does not respect you. Therefore, this can feed your internal dialogue and cause you to disrespect yourself.
Luckily, there are various ways you can build your self-respect. Just because other situations have molded it and you in the past, this does not mean that the future is not well within your control.
Most of the time, if someone shows you disrespect, it is not about you. Rather, they may lack self-respect and are deflecting it onto you. Ultimately, your opinion of yourself is more important than what others think about you.
You can take your power back and recover your natural level of self-respect.
Marisa Peer, the founder of Rapid Transformational Therapy® (RTT®) and renowned celebrity therapist, often says that all babies behave as if they are the center of the universe. They do not have a problem with self-respect or self-esteem. They feel enough. This means we have all had self-respect at some point, but potentially lost it during the process of life. So, let’s learn how to get it back.
How To Build Self-Respect
Self-respect can help you become who you are meant to be. So, how can you get there? Here are some ways you can start building self-respect today:
- If someone disrespects you and treats you badly, let them know that it is not okay. Kindly say, “You disrespected me, and it is unacceptable.”
- Get to know yourself more. When you dive into hobbies or activities you enjoy, you may discover a whole new side of yourself—one which you respect and accept. This can build values, nurture your personality, and help you build confidence.
- Learn to deal with criticism. It can be difficult to hear you are not doing something correctly or up to the expectations of others. However, remind yourself that criticism is not a reflection of you personally. It is merely a way to improve yourself and your actions. By putting aside any personal hurt, you can move forward with criticism and grow from it.
- Switch your focus. The results and end goal do not necessarily matter. What matters more is the effort you put in. Focus on your hard work—not your lack of success.
- Learn to forgive and let go. Moving on from the past and the hurt it holds can help guide you toward better respect for yourself and for others.
- Show respect to other individuals. Treat others how you would want to be treated. Always look for good qualities in others and avoid putting anyone down. This can also help you navigate how to treat yourself better and lift yourself up.
- Take responsibility. Avoid playing the ‘victim.’ Instead, own up to your side in things and take responsibility where you can. Remember, you are in control of your life. Begin acting like it.
Addressing the root cause of low self-respect
A common hurdle many individuals face when trying to find self-respect and self-love is overcoming self-doubt. Many individuals think they are not enough—whether that be in their relationship, at work, or on a sports team.
Over the three decades of experience working with clients worldwide, the world-renowned therapist, speaker, author, and founder of Rapid Transformational Therapy Marisa Peer, concluded that the feeling of not being enough lies at the root of most people’s issues.
Over and over again, Marisa was able to free her clients from this unhelpful belief and help them live happier, more fulfilled lives. She distilled the core principles of her method and offers it in a free masterclass.
Everyone should be able to know where self-doubt comes from and how to deal with it by learning how the mind works.
This class by Marisa Peer can improve your whole outlook on life through one simple mindset shift. Moreover, it can help you let go of mental blocks and provide practical tips on how to reprogram your mind for success.
The truth is that you are enough, and you do have the power to change your life. All you need to do is start telling yourself the truth. You are enough, you always have been, and you always will be.
The only person that can truly reject you is yourself. Thus, it is time to start being more kind to yourself and reminding yourself that you are enough—no matter what anyone else thinks.
Take an active role in building your self-respect
When you have decided you want to make changes in your life, and change your behaviour by breaking down the negative thoughts you have about yourself, you must remember that this is not a quick thing. Unravelling years upon years of self-destructive thoughts, particularly if backed by trauma, will not happen over night. If you have made a promise with yourself to improve your life, you need to be prepared to put in the time, effort, and perseverance that your mind deserves in order to reach the level of self-respect that can truly make a positive change in your life and outlook.
However, Marisa Peer has made it simple to set these goals, and stick to them completely, with her 21-Day Unstoppable Confidence Challenge.
In this challenge, you will learn how to destroy your negative self-talk and mindset, and replace it with an unshakeable confidence that will give you an unflappable self-esteem. Over a period of three weeks, you will partake in daily training, receive audios and mediations, and meet a thriving community of people who have joined up to overcome the same hurdles you are currently facing. With support, accountability, and a network of people to hold you up when you feel like you will fall, you will develop the behaviours you need to make a positive and lasting change. Click the banner below to learn more.
Rapid Transformational Therapy for Improved Self-Respect
The ‘I am enough’ concept is rooted in Rapid Transformation Therapy® (RTT®). Marisa Peer created RTT through her three decades of experience with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, psychotherapy, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, and hypnotherapy.
Remember, it is entirely possible to gain more self-respect and step into the life you want. Book a session with a certified RTT therapist and uncover the full potential of newly gained self-respect.