Ending Your Addictions: How to Overcome Your Personal Struggles with Support and Guidance
Ending Your Addictions: How to Overcome Your Personal Struggles with Support and Guidance
Posted on May 1st 2019 by Marisa Peer
It is absolutely possible to end your addictions. I know because I have had enormous success in freeing people from all types of addictions, including alcohol, smoking, drugs, shopping, and food.
An addiction is anything that moves you away from a bad feeling and towards a good feeling. Addictions are habits of action that are run by habits of thought. By changing the thought process, as well as the habit itself, long term success can almost always be achieved.
In my latest book, I Am Enough, I share how one of the major factors causing addiction is the feeling of not belonging or not feeling good enough. Feeling disconnected or rejected can lead to all sorts of issues. I believe that many modern-day ailments are a function of humans simply trying to fill the resulting emptiness or gap that they feel.
There are many reasons why people from all walks of life feel disconnected and rejected. In a lot of cases, these reasons start very early on in life, before we are even aware of our own consciousness.
Usually in the first six years or so of life, something tells you that you are not enough. This can be minor, such as a parent demanding perfection from you, or major, such as a parent abandoning or neglecting you. Either way, you internalize the belief and move on. Then, sometime during your life, your belief will be enhanced by society’s standards and expectations. Eventually, it will find a way to manifest, in the form of addiction, insecurity, depression or any other behavior you might be struggling with.
In a great many cases, these issues turn into a kind of self-loathing, a resignation to the fact that we will never be who we want to be. Our conscious mind just assumes it is our own fault: that we are lazy, we aren't good enough, we simply can't change it, that this is how life will
always be. Meanwhile, our harder-to-reach subconscious mind is often still stewing in the deep root causes of rejection and disconnection, agnostic to what is going on up at the surface level.
Real Life Story:
I want to illustrate this with a story from a past client of mine. I was working in Los Angeles on a television show, and as the producers tended to do in those days, they called me and asked me to sort out one of their more difficult cast members.
He was being obstinately uncooperative and very rude to the show’s staff, cast, and production crew. This was a huge problem as all his unreasonable demands and eccentricities were holding up filming and making people quit. Even I was instructed that, when I drove to his home, I was not allowed to park my rental car—a brand new red Mustang—in his driveway, as he could only tolerate luxury cars such as Ferraris, Porsches, and Jaguars being seen at his address. I could not even park it on the street outside his home—it must be parked around the corner. I turned up, parked my unacceptable car out of sight and knocked on the door of his mansion, ready to get to the bottom of just what was causing him to be so miserable.
As soon as I walked in, I remarked that he had a beautiful home. He quickly said he hated it and was selling it and moving into one of his other homes nearby while he built a bigger one. He then told me I reminded him of his third wife. (He had just broken up with wife number four.) When I replied thank you he said don’t thank me, she was such a disappointment to me. When I commented on the BAFTA and award trophies he had lined up on his mantelpiece, he described them as a curse, saying: “Everyone expects you to win more once you have one and it’s too much pressure to bear.”
I quickly began to see that whatever this man had—fancy cars, luxury homes, accolades, awards, movie star status and relationships with supermodels—it was never enough to satisfy him. He had all the external trappings of success, but none of the happy feelings that he had convinced himself this success would bring him. The more he accumulated, the more baffled he became that he didn’t feel happy. He was trying to fill a hole, but it was a hole that couldn’t be filled.
I had a feeling I knew what was going on, so I began asking him about his childhood. It turns out he grew up in a trailer park with a mother that often worked night shifts and a father who worked in construction. Each day, he was responsible for heating up his father’s dinner before he came home, as his mother was already at work. Money was tight, so there was often not enough food for him to eat the same cuts of meat as his dad. When his dad had leftovers he gave them to the dog, leaving this young boy to assume his father preferred the family pet over him.
“I know what’s wrong with you,” I said to him, “You don’t feel you are enough. And so you’ve spent an entire life trying to accumulate the types of things that would make you feel enough. You’ve tried houses, cars, beautiful women, accolades, professional success but it hasn’t worked.”
Immediately, tears leaked out of his eyes, and I knew I had reached him. This feeling—that you’re not enough—is the issue that’s at the core of so many people’s problems. Often, it’s just a matter of peeling back the layers of the onion—whether it’s addiction, workaholism, depression, overeating, accumulating stuff—and locating the point in time where you internalized the belief that you weren’t enough. The rest of those issues are just manifestations of that hugely damaging belief.
The source of this client’s belief—that his father didn’t love him—was similar to what happens to a lot of my clients. This is because children have one job to fulfil in their short time on the planet: to seek and receive the approval and love of their parents. When they don’t achieve that, it’s so traumatic and disorienting that they can’t rationalize it. It’s impossible for a child to understand at such a young age that their parent is flawed, that they are loveable even if their parent is not able to love them. So, they internalize the belief that if their parent—the one person who is supposed to love them no matter what—doesn’t, they must not be loveable at all. They are not enough.
Underlying every issue is the belief that you are not good enough
Once you internalize that belief, it’s very hard to even know that it is affecting you because it is so fundamental and deeply held. Especially when society reinforces it in so many ways, from consumerism to unrealistic beauty standards, to relationship ideals. People develop all kinds of coping mechanisms to deal with this deeply uncomfortable belief, including addiction, compulsion, depression, and anxiety. I’ve seen them all in my therapist’s chair over the last thirty years. I have also watched over and over how a simple, profound, and life-changing mantra can replace this ultimate limiting belief and set you free. That mantra is:
I Am Enough.
As you will often hear me say, I believe that the common denominator of almost everyone’s issues is that, somewhere along the way, they learned that they weren’t enough. Not good enough to be accepted, talented enough, loveable enough, perfect enough or successful enough.
The good news is that the belief that you are not enough is not a lifetime prison sentence. You can free yourself with the simplest, most affirming statement there is: “I am enough.”
In this free exercise taken from my book I Am Enough, you can do this simple exercise straight away and notice the difference it makes in your life. The more you repeat, the stronger the belief will become and the greater the result will be. I look forward to hearing your success story.
How this relates to addictions
I first learned about the pervasive problem of people believing they were not enough with some of my earliest clients. I had clients who were addicted to food and literally eating themselves to death with weight gain. They neither enjoyed nor wanted the food they were eating, but simply couldn’t stop themselves from consuming it. A similar case was with shopaholics. They hardly ever wore or used the vast amounts of products they bought, but something was compelling them to continue pulling out their credit cards to buy more. The same with anorexics—there was no such thing as “skinny enough.” I instinctively knew that what was afflicting one, had to also be afflicting the other.
One client struggling with crippling obesity had tried everything—including invasive surgery—to rid him of his compulsion to overeat. But once we located the time in this childhood when he began to believe he wasn’t enough and realise that eating is an act of regression, it was as if something changed overnight.
Seeing that he was enough all along saved him from the idea that he could “never have enough” food. He no longer had a void he had to fill. Whether it’s food, clothes, drugs,
alcohol, fame, hoarding or work, it’s nearly always the case that someone who “can’t get enough” of a substance or habit doesn’t feel like they are enough deep down, so they self-medicate.
The rich and famous
We see this with celebrities all the time, too. Each time someone immensely talented and successful dies due to addiction or suicide, people often wonder out loud: “But they had everything—money, fame, success—how could they not be happy?” The reason is that
money, fame or success aren’t enough to counter that feeling that you are not enough. In fact, the feeling that they are not enough is precisely what drives them to such admirable success. However, once these people achieve this success, and still don’t feel enough, the pain intensifies. Most non-famous people assume they are unhappy because they haven’t reached our society’s false high standards of what will make them happy. But for the rich and
famous who have attained that, they feel as though there is nothing left for them to achieve. Then, somewhat predictably, they experience a massive unraveling and move on to self-destructive behaviors. They give up any sense that they will ever feel enough.
When I realized how universal and widespread this problem was, I also realized how powerful the antidote is. It doesn’t matter if you’re a millionaire Wall Street banker who is addicted to work and cocaine, or a homeless person who is addicted to whatever booze
they can find, the problem at the core is the same. They don’t feel enough. Fortunately, the solution is the same for both, too.
How does Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) provide freedom from addiction?
I created Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) as a proven framework to take people through the process of transformation step by step, to achieve the most incredible results.
By locating and understanding how and when a client first got the feeling they weren’t good enough, we can address the root cause and replace the underlying negative belief with a more positive empowering one.
Unlike most therapists, with RTT we don’t spend weeks or months of sessions getting there; we get results from just one to three sessions, using hypnosis to work directly with the subconscious mind. People can achieve dramatic life-changing effects from just one session and I have personally helped many clients end addictions once and for all.
RTT is so powerful that it is winning awards internationally and becoming recognised as one of the most effective therapies available. Due to popular demand, I am now teaching others how to become certified practitioners and therapists of Rapid Transformational Therapy and you can also Find A Therapist to arrange a personalised session to overcome any issue, including addictions.
Instant downloads available now
To make this award winning method available to as many people as possible, I have also created a number of instant access downloads, which can be accessed anytime, anywhere, from the comfort of your own home. You can experience the same cutting edge techniques used with royalty, superstars, Olympic athletes and CEOs for a range of issues, including ending addiction. Everything you need is available to you. I look forward to hearing your success story.
Real Life Examples:
Just over a year ago I was fighting a daily battle with depression and alcohol addiction, filled with despair at the prospect of losing my family. A year ago today my life changed. I went for Rapid Transformational Therapy to help pull me out of the alcohol and drug addiction. I knew next to nothing about what it would entail, nor did I hold much hope in it working. After all, nothing else had. But I walked out of my session free of the addictions, despair and depression. The last year has been a blessing. I have seen my son, Arlo, born and grow into the happiest not-so-little baby. And Seren, my star, has flourished into the kindest, most affectionate little girl (although she would say she is a big girl!).
It hasn’t been a perfectly smooth ride. I have found myself at times plagued with guilt and remorse, as well as shame and, of course, grief. George Shelley said, "Grief is like glitter: no matter how much you try and tidy it up you’re never going to get rid of it all. You’re always going to find bits of it." But despite all this, the one thing I haven’t had need for is alcohol. I went from drinking until blackout to having zero desire for alcohol. I can hand on heart say that in a whole year I have not once desired a drink. Massive thanks go to Philippa Bottrill for transforming my life, and to the inimitable Marisa Peer for giving RTT to the world.
Now, a year on, Stella Jade Belvoir is a qualified RTT Therapist and already helping people free other people from their issues and changing people’s lives for the better.
Addiction, depression and mental health is a broad-spectrum issue, indiscriminate of gender, class, and race. Today, suicide is the single biggest killer of men under the age of 45. Don’t suffer in silence. RTT works – I am proof of that. Reach out to your nearest RTT Therapist.
Peace and love 😊🙏🏼
I am in cloud 9...my first real client after the live training just sent me her testimonial...she wasn’t meant to be a paying client but she insisted on paying me and booked in for a different issue as did her daughter, what follows is her testimony.....“
So… it’s now 21 days since my Rapid Transformational Therapy session with Simone and I am completely cured of my addiction to sugar!! It’s a miracle, it’s amazing, it’s life changing! Such a rapid transformational change in just one session as promised, I am so happy!
Let me tell you what happened.. I met with Simone and discussed my addiction to sugar at length. What then followed was my being taken into a state of hypnosis: I was aware of my own ‘self’ but totally focused on what Simone was saying and so liken it to mindfulness. Simone was then able to regress me back to my childhood where we were able to pinpoint where and why I have come to have the addiction to sugar that I have today: the ‘penny dropped’ and it all made sense. We then worked on curing my addiction in helping to realise I don’t need sugar, I am in control of it and it’s not in control of me, I am indifferent: I can choose whether or not to eat it. My background is I have a psychology degree, I am a Mental Health Nurse, and sceptic of hypnosis – until now! I am so pleased with the results that I can’t wait to address another issue I have, because let’s face it, who doesn’t have issues?! I am certainly going to go back to Simone: a gentle, softly-spoken therapist, with a passion for what she does and a genuineness to help others. Simone made me feel at ease and I felt confident in placing my trust in her. And finally, I can’t stop listening to u-tube videos by Marissa Peers, RTT founder, whom Simone trained with, and thanks to the results I have had with Simone I may even follow her in training as a RTT Therapist myself.”
I purchased the Free From Drugs recording from Marisa Peer as soon as it was linked here. I knew I wanted to give it about 5 days of utilization before I took any other steps. As I said, I wasn't at rock bottom, but I was on my way down a rabbit hole I had no business going down. I'll say that by day 3 of listening to the recording I hadn't noticed immediately, but I stopped thinking about drugs. Before I would randomly throughout the day think hm, I think I want to get something for tonight, etc. Those thoughts stopped. By day 5, when my friends who use drugs asked what my order for the week was, I said no thank you, and I felt great saying it. It boggles my mind that it can take as little as a few days of Marisa to completely change something so powerful. There has been no back and forth in my mind about should I shouldn't I. I have complete control over my thoughts on the subject. I can't thank Marisa enough, or all of you, for her making this method and all of you embracing it. It changes lives and it's cliche to say but its true. If I am alone, and feeling lonely, I reach out to friends now or I sit down to a good book (currently it's the new Mark Your Mirror by Marisa!) or I delve into other hobbies that brings me joy. I haven't let myself go to the party scene since, and there are a few parties coming up, but I feel confident that I can go to these events and dialogue with myself and get through it. If I feel myself slipping I will immediately go back to the recording, but as of right now, I think I am basically cured of the desire.
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