As women, we go through many changes throughout our lives—from puberty to menopause.
While we see some of these changes as exciting, we often allow others to cast a cloud of worry over our lives.
If you’re a woman in your 40s or 50s, menopause is probably something you’ve spent some time thinking about recently. While it can come with some changes and challenges, it’s time to recognize that it’s also an amazing opportunity to open up a new chapter in your life…
This article will cover what you need to know about menopause, including:
1. What the menopause is
2. My fascinating discoveries and how menopause has changed for women
3. The importance of creating your own story
4. My personal experience with menopause
5. How to change the way you think about menopause
6. Reasons why you should embrace this new phase of your life
7. Practical tips on navigating menopause with ease
We have so much to get through—let’s get started!
What Is the Menopause?
Menopause is a natural process of the permanent cessation of menstruation, also referred to as “the change of life.”
It is different for every woman and typically starts around age 51. However, it can occur anywhere between the ages of 40 and 60.
While it can be accompanied by uncomfortable symptoms like hot flashes, night sweats, and vaginal dryness, menopause is different for everyone.
There are also many ways that you can ease symptoms and make the transition smooth and positive.
My Fascinating Discoveries About the Menopause
Menopause is such an interesting topic. I’ve done a lot of studies on it, and they all say the same thing—that, biologically, women had to stop being fertile when their daughters became fertile.
Imagine you were living in a primitive place where women had to work in the fields. While they did so, they depended on their mothers to look after their children.
So nature decides that as our children reach fertile age, your fertility should end too. Enabling you to care for the next generation.
But as that no longer happens, and we live longer and longer, the whole menopause is changing…
How menopause has changed for women
Since then, medical advances such as IVF treatments mean the reason we have menopause is kind of redundant.
For example, you could have a daughter at 20 and have another daughter at 45 if you wanted to. Although our ovaries age and our eggs age, the womb is kind of ageless.
It’s really not important why you have it or what it’s for. The most important thing is that you don’t have to suffer.
Menopause doesn’t have to be hot flashes, night sweats, weight gain, brain fog, and all the other symptoms we’re told to expect…
You can transition through menopause symptom-free if you understand how to work with your body.
Therefore, it’s high time we learn to block outdated beliefs that no longer serve us…
Creating Your Own Menopause Story
In my years of studying this topic, I’ve come to a solid conclusion—what you believe about menopause will affect your menopause.
I’ve had women come to me exclaiming, “My menopause was hell, it was a nightmare!”
“The night sweats, the mood swings…I just felt like a different person.”
“I hated it!”
While other people casually dismiss this time in their lives, stating, “I haven’t even had one.”
I’ve seen this discrepancy in those close to me too…
For instance, my mother and grandmother had horrible menopause.
Yet my aunt and friend’s mom said it was nothing, “You didn’t even notice it.”
Isn’t it interesting how different these experiences are?
One thing is clear: the way these women spoke about menopause was worlds apart.
So what I want you to take away from this is that just because you’ve heard other women talk about how terrible it is and how much they struggled through their menopause, that doesn’t mean you will.
Remember, their story is not your story.
Your menopause doesn’t compare yourself to anyone else. You are your own person with your own journey—and you get to decide what that will be.
This was certainly something I considered as I entered this time in my own life…
My Personal Experience With Menopause
My story is very simple—I didn’t have one. I never went through any sort of menopausal experience. I didn’t have one hot flash, and I never had a night sweat—none of the usual symptoms or horror stories we’re told as you approach your 50s.
I believe the determining factor in this was my studies into women in Japan and in tribes who go through menopause without even noticing it. From that moment on, I decided—I’m not going to have one.
In the same way, when I had a baby, I decided I would not have postnatal depression…
A nurse came to me saying, “Well, you might have postnatal depression.”
I replied, “Oh no, no, no. I’m having postnatal euphoria. I’ve already signed up for it.”
You see, thoughts are things. Every thought you think has a physical reaction and an emotional response.
Your thoughts control your feelings…
Your feelings control your actions…
Your actions control your events.
Every thought you think, and every word you say is a blueprint that your mind and body work to make real.
For example, if you think about migraines, colds, or sinus headaches and say things like, “I’ve got the flu and it’s so terrible.” The belief that it’s so terrible will make it terrible.
You are what you believe—so change your beliefs because it’s everything.
So here’s what you can do about this…
Change the Way You Think About the Menopause
If you want to get through menopause quickly and carefree, the most important thing by far is to take a look at what you believe it is.
What do you personally believe it is?
What kind of word do you use to talk about menopause?
Are you dreading it?
Are you terrified of it?
Do you think that it’s out of your control, that there’s nothing you can do?
Do you believe it’s something that unwillingly happens to you, and you’re simply at its mercy?
Or do you think, “Well, could I actually speed it up and go through it super fast?”
Have you ever asked yourself, “Could I go through and hardly notice it?”
Yes, you probably can.
Look at your beliefs and write them down. Write down every thought or belief about menopause, and then write the opposite.
If you think, “The menopause is going to be really difficult.”
Instead, write, “Menopause will be such an easy transition. I won’t even notice it.”
Rather than saying, “I’m going to put on weight.”
Update your thoughts with positive statements like, “I’m going to use this as a wonderful opportunity to have a healthier diet and lifestyle, and I’m going to lose weight.”
Or if you’re telling yourself, “My sex life is going to go down the tubes.”
Tell yourself exciting things, such as, “My sex life is actually going to get better.”
You see, it’s not what happens to you in menopause; it’s how you react and respond to what happens that makes all the difference.
So look at your thoughts and change them if they’re not serving you well so you can welcome this new exciting phase of your life…
Embrace a New Phase of Your Life
Of course, updating your beliefs goes hand-in-hand with realizing that menopause can be a wonderful opportunity to embrace a new phase of your life.
This can be a time to focus on your health, try new hobbies, and create the life you want. Menopause doesn’t have to be a negative experience. With the right mindset, it can be positive and empowering.
The sexiest part of you is in your mind
One of the most common concerns I hear from my clients is that they feel as though they are losing their femininity and sexiness.
They say, “Oh, I don’t feel feminine now I can’t make a baby.”
“I can’t ovulate. My fertility is over. I’m not sexy.”
But that’s just not true—sexual attraction is in your mind.
As you get older, sex can be so much more exciting. You take your time, and you know what works. You’ve taught your body how to respond and what to do, and you can also be super orgasmic after your periods have ended.
Many women have told me, “I’ve had the best sex of my life in my 40s.”
They had their first orgasm at 42, 45, and 46—because they felt free to be themselves.
These women explained, “I no longer thought about my body as something that’s here to make a baby.”
Some say, “I feel sexier, I don’t worry about getting pregnant.”
“I don’t worry about being on my period, the mess, the inconvenience.”
“I’m free now.”
Therefore, menopause is the perfect time to accept that your body is here to experience pleasure.
The clitoris, by the way, is the only organ that is there entirely to receive pleasure. So that’s why it’s there, and menopause doesn’t change that. It doesn’t take away the hundreds of nerve endings in it.
So forget about all those old wives’ tales and misconceptions.
The only thing that can make you feel unattractive is your thoughts.
You can decide you’re an absolute goddess with a womb, without a womb, with periods, without them, with breasts that are high or low; it doesn’t matter.
You are female.
You are feminine.
You are sexy.
You are gorgeous.
You are a goddess.
So wherever you are, whatever you are, whoever you are, your womb does not make you more or less sexy. Likewise, your fertility does not make you more or less desirable—not unless you choose to believe that to be true.
Remember, your opinion is the only opinion that matters. When you hold this opinion and confidence radiates from you, others will pick up on that and reflect these beliefs back at you.
Desire, arousal, and libido all start in your mind. Your mind is the sexiest organ, and it never ages; it doesn’t go through menopause. So you can have a wild, passionate sex life in your 60s, in your 70s, in your 80s.
It’s up to you, so choose to reclaim your power…
How To Reclaim Your Power
Menopause doesn’t have to be a negative experience. There are things you can do to reclaim a positive sense of your sexuality and identity.
Here are a few tips:
Support yourself with supplements and vitamins
There are so many natural supplements and vitamins you can take to help improve your overall health and well-being during this time.
Black cohosh has been used for centuries to help ease symptoms like hot flashes and night sweats.
Dong quai is another herb that has been used to help with menopausal symptoms, as well as to support overall health.
Capsaicin, found in chili peppers, has also been shown to be effective in helping to reduce hot flashes.
Red clover is another supplement that is often taken to help with menopausal symptoms, as well as to support bone health.
Finally, ginseng is a popular supplement that is often taken for its energy-boosting properties.
There are many supplements and vitamins you can take—it’s just about finding the ones that work best for you.
Take up yoga
Yoga is an excellent form of exercise for women going through menopause.
It can help with the hot flashes, anxiety, depression, and everything that can come with menopause. As well as this, it’s also a great way to improve flexibility, muscle strength, and tone—all while helping to reduce stress levels.
There are a number of yoga poses that can be particularly beneficial for menopausal women…
For example, the Triangle Pose can help to lengthen the spine and improve circulation.
The Camel Pose can open up the chest and shoulders, relieving tension and helping to ensure deep breathing.
The Half Camel Pose is also beneficial, as it helps to ease back pain and is said to be beneficial to those experiencing depression.
Yoga can also help to improve sleep quality, which can be adversely affected by menopause.
Overall, it’s a great activity to promote feelings of well-being and calm during this time of change.
Use visualization techniques
Visualization techniques help you go through menopause in the same way they are used in cancer hospitals, children’s hospitals, and fertility clinics to teach your body how to respond.
You can use them to glide through menopause so that you hardly notice it.
Visualize your body going through the process of menopause smoothly and easily. See yourself as healthy and vibrant, with no symptoms or problems.
Try visualizing yourself surrounded by a bright white light. A light that represents clarity, peace, and calm. See that light filling your entire body, giving you strength and courage.
Finally, visualize your future self—healthy, happy, and free from menopausal symptoms. Visualize yourself living life to the fullest, enjoying every moment.
These visualization techniques can help to ease the transition through menopause and create a more positive outlook on this time of life. Try them and let me know what you think—it just might help you to feel better emotionally and physically.
Try breathing techniques
When you’re going through menopause, your body can be under a lot of stress. This can lead to shallow breathing, which can, in turn, cause dizziness, anxiety, and headaches.
By focusing on deep breathing, you can help to relax your body and mind and ease some of the menopausal symptoms.
The first step is to breathe from your diaphragm rather than your chest. This will help you to take slow, deep breaths, which can promote relaxation.
The next step is to focus on your breath and count each inhale and exhale. This will help to clear your mind and bring you into the present moment.
Finally, try breathing through your nose, as this will help to filter out pollutants and improve the quality of your breath.
If you are having a hot flash, put your hands in cold water and breathe out for longer than you breathe in. It will help stop the hot flash.
Try incorporating some breathing techniques into your daily routine, and see if they help you to feel calmer and in control during menopause.
Adjust your diet
Eating a healthy diet is important at any age, but it becomes even more crucial during menopause.
This means consuming plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and healthy fats. It’s also important to limit and remove processed foods, very spicy food, sugar, and alcohol. All of which can dramatically change hot flashes and night sweats.
There are a few key nutrients that are especially important for menopausal women to include in their diets too. These include calcium, vitamin D, and omega-3 fatty acids.
Calcium helps to keep bones healthy, while vitamin D helps the body to absorb calcium.
Omega-3 fatty acids are anti-inflammatory and can help to reduce hot flashes.
In addition to these nutrients, it is also important to eat plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. These healthy foods provide the body with the fiber it needs to function well and the vitamins and minerals that are essential for good health.
Making these dietary changes can help you to flow through menopause with ease.
Make changes in your intimate routine
If you’re suffering from vaginal dryness, don’t use soap or a bubble bath. You don’t need any of those things.
If you feel that you’re too dry and sex is painful use lubricants. There’s nothing wrong with that, and there are so many exciting ones you can make part of sex.
Of course, kissing is very important. The mouth and the vagina are closely linked, and when the mouth is wet, the vagina is wet.
I know many women who give birth whose doctors have said, “If you keep your mouth wet, it helps the vagina to stretch more.” It helps with birth.
So kissing is exciting—create desire, explore, and enjoy lots of foreplay.
Get your libido back
If you don’t feel aroused and your libido has gone away. Again, you can take supplements and visualization, but even just playing the songs you played when you were first dating can activate that memory of being wildly in love and deeply aroused.
A passionate desire for your partner and sex can come back.
You can reactivate, re-manifest, and regenerate all those feelings by remembering.
If sex is painful for you, then spend longer on foreplay. Talk to your partner, and explain that your body has changed, but you still love and desire them.
Explain that you’re simply going to have to change your sex life a bit—and you can make that exciting by spending longer on foreplay and using creams, lotions, and oils.
Coconut oil is the very best thing to use as the sebum in it is very close to our own sebum. It also has no side effects or toxins, so it’s a great and highly recommended lubricant to use in your sex life.
It’s quite exciting.
It feels lovely and slippery.
But of course, there are so many more things you can do to embrace this new phase in your life. These are just a few examples of the wonderful opportunities, solutions, and avenues that are out there for you to explore and enjoy.
It’s Time To Decide What Your Journey Will Be
By reading this article, I hope you’ve seen that there are so many amazing things you can do to help you go through menopause with ease.
I want to remind you that the most important element in empowering yourself during this transition all lies in updating your beliefs.
If you think menopause is difficult, it probably will be. But if you think menopause can be positive and empowering, it probably will be too!
So please choose the words you use to talk about menopause carefully. For example, instead of using negative words like “dread,” “fear,” and “suffering,” try using positive words like “embrace,” “reclaim,” and “positive.”
Think of different thoughts, and you can sail through menopause.
Sail through it, flow through it as women in Japan do—like women in many tribes do.
Tell yourself it’s nothing.
It’s what you decide it is, and your decisions are yours to make, change, alter, tune, correct, and adjust.
To help you on this journey, check out my Health Vortex. It is a powerful hypnosis designed to help reset your body from top to bottom, inviting you to change the energy of your body and restore blissful balance using the incredible power of your mind.
So you can reclaim your power today as a feminine, sexy, gorgeous goddess.