How to rebuild your self-esteem after losing your job | Marisa Peer

How to rebuild your self-esteem after losing your job

How to rebuild your self-esteem after losing your job

Posted on January 31st 2020 by Laura Armstrong

You lost your job. What now?

First of all, know that it is OK to feel lost. Not only do our jobs support us financially, but they also give us a sense of purpose. Without that reason to get out of bed in the morning, it can be easy to spiral into a state of depression.

While there is plenty of advice on getting your finances in order after you lose a job, the purpose of this article is to rebuild your confidence.

Though it might feel like it now, losing your job is not the end of the world.

You can come back stronger with these five things you should do if you lose your job to rebuild your self-esteem. It may just end up being the best thing that ever happened to you.

  1. Give yourself time to grieve
  2. Forgive your former boss
  3. Change your mindset
  4. Get back out there
  5. Be kind to yourself

Step 1: Give yourself time to grieve

Do not allow yourself to wallow in self-pity for months. However, it is important to give yourself time to come to terms with the loss. Let yourself grieve, just as you would after a relationship breakdown or the loss of a loved one. Give yourself anywhere from a few days to a couple of weeks for the grieving process— whatever feels right for you.

During this time, let yourself feel every emotion that comes up. Keep a journal where you can note down exactly how you are feeling every day, talk to friends and family about it— don’t bottle it up.

Step 2: Forgive your former boss

This might be the last thing you feel like doing but it is essential to help you move on. It is normal to feel like your confidence has taken a huge blow when you lose your job, especially if it was unexpected. It feels like a rejection, and rejection is painful. Once you have grieved for the job you have lost, it is time to let it go.

It is time to put pen to paper again, this time writing a letter to your former boss. You will never send it so you can take the opportunity to get out all of the hurt and anger you feel towards them. Include four elements in your letter:

  1. Acknowledge what happened
  2. Explain how it made you feel (do not hold back here, swear words are allowed!)
  3. Tell them you understand why they did it
  4. Tell them you forgive them

Forgiving your boss is important for you, not them. Continuing to harbor resentment will have a long-term impact on your self-esteem and negatively affect your attitude towards the next stage of your career. Forgive and let it go.

Step 3: Change your mindset: you are enough

Now that you have let go of the pain surrounding your job loss, it is time to focus on rebuilding your confidence. You need to feel worthy, confident and capable. If you do not, then other people will not believe it either.

This is as simple as changing the way you think about and talk to yourself. It is easier than it sounds. In an article on how to reach your full potential, “Britain’s Best Therapist” Marisa Peer shares “I have seen over and over how a simple, profound and life-changing mantra of ‘I Am Enough’ can build self-love and eliminate limiting beliefs and behaviors forever. What’s more, it’s free, easy and anyone can do it”.

Say to yourself every day “I Am Enough”. Write it on your bathroom mirror or a post-it note stuck to your laptop or fridge. Repeated every day, you will see your confidence soar as your mind starts to believe what you are telling it— you are enough.

Marisa’s online ‘I Am Enough’ course will give you access to 8 powerful life hacks to remove your emotional blocks to increase your confidence. Once you have completed this course, there will be no stopping you, not only in your career but all aspects of your life. You will have all the tools for self-acceptance and ultimate confidence.

Step 4: Get back out there

Do something every day towards achieving your goal of getting a new job. With every action you take, you will start to feel better about yourself, knowing you are productive, effective and in control.

Here are some tasks to undertake in your job search:

  • Update your resume and upload it to job sites
  • Set up appointments with recruitment agencies in your field
  • Create a LinkedIn profile, connect with people in your sector and let recruiters know you are open to job opportunities
  • Tell friends and former colleagues you are looking for work— you never know what might come up
  • Check for new listings every morning, create a shortlist of vacancies which match your skills and aspirations and apply the same day— do not delay!

It is amazing how just doing one thing towards your goal each day can transform the way you see yourself.

Step 5: Be kind to yourself

Taking steps towards your goals is important but you also need to make time for yourself. Self-care is an activity we do and enjoy that benefits our mental, emotional or physical health. Enjoyment is key here⁠— do one thing every day which brings you joy. Maybe it is watching your favorite TV show or taking a long, relaxing bath.

Once you have started to take action, you will quickly see results. Make sure you stand out from the crowd when that interview invite comes through with Marisa’s Interview Success audio download.

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